Thoughts from a soggy mind - best served Cold

I realized a few weeks ago that come August (that’s nex tuesday) i’ll b entering my last six months in malaysia. kinda sad huh? that’s assuming i get d grades needed of course, if not my bum wont be on tht flight. But that’s not the purpose of this post…

Nineteen years here…basically my whole life has been here in msia. Ahh..when i think of d kindergarten days, when i played wif blocks, plasticine and whatnots. Of d primary days when i forged friendships that endured til today, when all of us sat side by side and learnt all there was to learn, eagerly taking in everything in2 our yound minds. Of my secondary school years when I learnt about having and keeping your place in society, d darker side of human nature, d brotherliness that’ll always keep people together in times of darkness. When i learnt of love and of happiness magnified a thousand times. And of course, d last one year or so here in Taylor’s where i’ve continued my education in more than just the academic sense.

Sighs…can i possibly leave everything here and go to a land far, far away? My family, my friends, my hometown, my memories… Well, i have to. Otherwise i’ll have to say byebye to my biotech ambitions. Sumtimes u juz have to sacrifice certain things in order to achieve your dreams (but let’s not do it d dirty way).

Yes, i may have to leave BUT i shall NOT forget:

My family- Dad, Mum, Sis, Granma + all my beloved Uncles and Aunts!!

***Chinese New Year 2006***

All my friends- Kenneth, Chin Chun, Eddie, SinTze, Ray, Cck, Lcc, Wooikuun, Barney, d whole of 5Sc1 2004! Not forgetting all d people i know in TI whom i din mention here..U all wil alwiz b in my heart =) And of course all my housemates + fellow coursemates here in Taylor’s. Down d years our friendship has solidified, we’ve understood each other without saying a word..great frens.

***D majority of my gang r here…stole this pic from kenneth’s profile-wei, where’s my pics taken during my last day in scl lasyear?-Love u guys!***

***Friends at Taylor’s….we’re gonna go seperate ways too, all the best in australia***

My home(s)… One in teluk intan (of course!), my granma’s hse which is almost like my own home as well and my room in ridzuan…

And many many other things! Haha…i just realized midway thru typing dis post that i shud probably save it for d few days before leaving.

But then again, I just wana let u people know that u’ll always be in my heart and from now on, i’ll constantly remind myself to cherish all the things i have here in malaysia…MUST contact those friends i havent msged for sumtime, MUST call my parents more often, MUST take more pics!

That’s my resolution for d nex half a year…lap up everything (almost) that Msia has got to offer and keep dem in my heart =) And here’s a note to friends who are reading this..if u havent done so, pls addme at chankaixun@hotmail.com, i’ll hate losing contact wif u guys.

Yes…must cherish, appreciate and enjoy my last few months here!!!

I remember (vaguely) i said lastweek tht it was gona b my last post for a long time..lol..1week aint tht long, innit? Nvm nvm, since i’m doin my chem practical proposal might as well stray here awhile =p neways, 1week is a long time, depending on how u look at it…

The past week…was quite productive. Watched Pirates of the Caribbean on friday wif housemates thn proceeded to laze around thruout d weekend.. caught MU in action against Orlando Pirates (4-0! Pity d new jersey isnt too nice tho) n yeah, i did do my homework!  The other days of this week went quite "well" i guess..more work n assessments dumped on us. Wish d rainwater would do d same.

Which brings me to my title today. No, it’s nt about sum kinda plane or rocket or whateva thg they send up 2space nowadays. "Up, up" refers to my ever-increasing workload..itz piling up! Omg..gona spend  2 late nites tis weekend i guess: chem proposal, physics investigation design skills proposal, maths mini project, and the not-so-small matter of common tests *urghhh*

And "away" refers to my wish to be away from all this (or determination to get it over and done wif, send em away) and put my feet up for awhile b4 trials n finals decide to come pay a visit all too soon. Lol..don’t v all? Anyways, i wont run away from wads gona come..gota try my best to do well. Easier said than done, reali.

I guess virtually everyone’s watched pirates =) it was great…damn funny most of d time (including davy jones’ crew,d hammerhead shark fella looks like he was tryin too hard 2 look fierce =p). hurm..dun v all love jack sparrow? d freedom to b bad, defy convention, break all d rules n yet b loved for it? not to mention a darker william turner-still upholds d honour thingy but has learnt a thing or two bout bending d rules, hasnt he…

Well, well, dun v all love dis anti-hero concept. Kinda ironic whn u compare jack sparrow to zidane. Jack’s bin d slippery guy all along yet he finally stands up n goes down in a blaze of glory (aww,tht jack vs kraken part was touching.Tht’s d best "Hello, beastie" i’ve ever heard). Zidane’s just d mirror image. Revered as a legend, clean guy, he blows up his farewell wif that..well, u noe wad i’m talking bout. But v love both of them.The flawed genius, the anti-hero, people who are supposed to be perfect, to be good and great, and yet they’re not. Maybe it makes us feel better that way? Or maybe we prefer grey over black and white.

Okies, gota get myself up and running. Nex week’s kinda heavy..maths mini project, bio practical test, and goodness knows wad else. I confess, my memory is kinda poor. So, hopefully my mental performance will oso get up, up but not away..

Good luck guys. Keep calm, dun panic so u dun mess up ur mini project.

p/s: i doubt anyone reads dis. But good luck all the same =)

Right..i do seem to be blogging alot these days..kinda happens when ur in either a good mood or bad (for me at least). Wel..dis may b d last for sum time..cts coming up n all tht.

Well, a (short) conversation wif a fren on tues planted a seed of doubt in2 my head about wad i’m recently doin..I noe i’ve taken a tough stance and all tht but i was reminded tht fate brings us all together for a reason n wateva d prob is, u shud appreciate d ppl around u rite? Hell i’ve bin doin tht for my 1st 11months here (tho nt alwiz successful but hey, i tried my best) but for d past 3 weeks i’v forgotten…

Plus v’r studyin stats in maths now: confidence interval, p-value n what nots. Reali, i shud put a margin of error to my own judgements, no? Kinda hard for someone who believes d foundation 2success is 2hv sufficient self-belief, but then again i guess i shud doubt myself from time to time..it doesnt reali matter anymore whether i’m right or wrong in my judgements. the One upstairs can c it all rite? leave it to destiny then..

Oh well, by d end of d day i noe d whole episode has made me look like d villain, d "small gas" guy. Perhaps i am? I acknowledge tht d methodology used was flawed, BUT d intention wasnt. I noe it sounds corny n not many ppl wud believe it if dey heard it (hey, i thought it sounded quite fake whn i said it to myself) but dis IS the truth: I’m not doin it for myself cos i never expected to get it all this while. All i’m worried about is the sincerity of ppl who want it.

I’m a firm believer in facts…statistics don’t lie. But then again, there is a thing called error in stats…so i guess it’s btr to reserve my judgement n assume the best in people n situations. After all, if v’re all fated to meet then i guess being frens wud b btr thn enemies.

In any case, itz reali time to get focused on d cts n assessments. I’ve got a promise to fulfill.

p/s: if anyone (other than the main ppl) felt offended by my attitude/behaviour over d past 3 weeks, i sincerely apologise. Rest assurred it was not out of selfish self-interest but then..tht’s not d main point. I did it, so i hold my hands up and say sorry.

Hurm…itz 12.07pm now, 53 mins away from my practical write-up test n i’m not revising. Strange? well..no mood la. Anyway, i noe i had a post titled It’s Time b4 dis n so dis is gona b part2.

I’ve just realized (rather belatedly) that it’z just another 4 months to d finals. Wad does tht mean? Hell, i’ve gota pick up my books n push certain things outta d window, thts wad it means.

Of cuz it doesnt mean i DON’T care, i do. But a promise is a promise, i’ve gota try my best 2achieve max results n i noe i cant do tht if i keep dithering.

Blahh…by d end of d day, d thesis statement is tht ct3, ct4, trials n finals r all coming soon and itz my SACE cert plus TER tht matters. Do as dey wish, i dun bloody care anymore. Keep dreaming bout investing ur energies in so many branches at such a crucial time n yet still come away wif gd results if u want to. I’m not trying to sound arrogant here but u think itz THAT easy to seriously divide ur time n energy between 2things of such magnitude? Oh well, itz nt me who’s gona cry if u get shitty results so it aint my problem, innit?

As far as i knoe, i’m a realist. D reality is : i have to start working NOW!

Come Christmas, we’ll see who has the last laugh.

Yes, 2day is 9th July 2006. Exactly one year ago on this day i was in LT2 listening to d orientation, making new friends, moving into a new place (i stil remember d grill incident) etc etc..So much has changed, n yet so much has not.

To put it in simple terms, here’s a quick list of:

Things i have learned

*Not everything goes to plan, not every hope can be realised. All you can do is pray for the best.

*Studying together wif a bunch of brainiacs can be depressing if ur not careful.

*Sometimes being a brainiac is not everything. It pays to be stupid at times.

*Hypocrisy may not be so bad after all. Look wad my in-your-face and couldnt-care-as-long-as-i-know-i’m-right attitude has brought me. After all, "diplomacy" is jus another sanitised term for hypocrisy,no? Gotta start learning..

*I’ve gotta hire a PR consultant as soon as i have money. The trouble wif me is that being anti-social, i make myself look like i’m everyone’s enemy while some ppl look like angels.

*It can be frustrating when u can see what others cant, and u cant make them see it, simply because u look like a devil.

*I noe i’m no angel but mayb i shud demote myself further n b a true Devil…esp since i’ve seen personally just how much diplomacy and tactical astuteness can bring. To hell wif commitment and effort.

Things i’ll never learn

*Keeping quiet when itz reali best to do so.

*Hiding my dislikes for any particular person at a particular time. Which means i wont get my PhD in Hypocrisy…which some ppl already have here.

*Playing a slow, tactical game rather like d italians. I prefer EPL but look at d world cup: italy’s in d final n where’s england?

*Creating coincidences.

*Holding up traffic and then making it like i’m d one being barged in2 by drivers from hell.

Okies..so maybe d above may be slightly sarcastic and all that..pardon me, that’s just d mood n hormones playing around wif my fingers on d keyboard. Anyway, d thing is, i’ve reali enjoyed myself immensely over d past year. All d ups n downs, advice n help, laughter n tears, everything… Of cuz now there’s oni four months left of this journey before v reach tht fork and v hv2 go our seperate ways, down different lanes. Still, i reali appreciate the past year n while i may not be expressive in public, here’s a big thank you to everyone here in taylors who’ve made my life such a wonderful story over d past year.

Take care n all d best everyone!

Just a veri short post (by my standards). Well..i did say lasweek tht friendster’s horoscopes can b kinda silly. but this 2day’s pretty much sums it up tho.

I noe d title sounds weird, but itz got its own significance n meaning.Well, another rollercoaster week, getting only 5 hours’ sleep at times (i hate not gettin enuf sleep!) and generally seeing tht my ‘experiments’ are proving my hypothesis correct so far..which isnt wad i hoped for. Let’s juz say i’d rather dis experiment fall flat on its face.

Neways, b4 i start talkin in more scientific terms..esl tutorial on monday went well =) was reali nervous b4 i started but well, wad can i say bout technology…handphones r reali d greatest invention of d century in my opinion. calms ur nerves n everything. dun get it? dun wori, ur not supposed to =p so i breezed thru d presentation, kept my wits about me 4d Q & A (v din plan d ques, unlike some groups) n sumhow had a brainwave or two in leading d discussion..Long live handphones!

Yeah..so i thought i started d week on a pretty good note after an agitated weekend. I thought. In retrospect it wasnt reali tht bad la. Juz tht sum ppl reali dun get it. U dun say thgs u dun mean to. Nor do u say u’re gona do A and yet u go on n do B. tht’s plain shit. Maybe i was wrong as well, i admit that. Which brings me to d title of my post 2day:

We learned photoelectric effect (introduced by einstein, thts y he got d nobel) tis week and sum of its principles were truly interesting.

" The intensity of the incident photon is unable to influence the electron emission if Energy of photon is less than Binding energy of electrons"

and…" The energy of the photon is discrete, where it is proportional to the frequency of the incident radiation" 

Well, it says that each type of wave has a specific energy for its photons and if energy of photon is less than binding energy of electrons, no amount of bombardment of a particular metal surface wif d photons will produce any emission of electrons (intensity = number of photons per unit area per unit time)

What the hell am i getting at? Let’s put it this way..sometimes in life, it doesnt matter how intensely u do something, what matters sumtimes is who you are. Like mr sam says, " Don’t tell me a spotlight shone brightly on you lastnight and so you’re not feeling well today. If juz one gamma ray hit you though, u may get cancer nex year" My point is, so what if d spotlight (visible light wif intermediate photon energy) has high intensity? It still cant bloody cause any damage compared to the single gamma ray (high photon energy) which has such low intensity. Sometimes identity precedes everything else. And that sucks.

On the bright side of things though, this is one week filled wif memorable one-liners. Here’s some of them:

Sunday : "All the best for tutorial tomorrow"- from supportive Friends. Thankx!

Monday: "Where’s the climax?" - louis on my not-so melodious rendition    of hoobastank’s the reason

Tuesday: "I don’t have white dots"- mr sam explaining tht he’s using black marker to draw white dots on d whiteboard

Wednesday : "This is one of those days when my mood can change from good to bad within miliseconds" - myself on my mood for d day. Followed by "Coincidence, coincidence"- louis on…[censored]

Thursday : "You know where’s d library or not?"- mr sam again. followed by "damn i missed d 1st bus again" -myself on well, missing d 1st bus.

Lol…it was fun n refreshing thinkin bout those lines. Anyway, din reali blog everything here, sum stuff r juz plain untypeable (got such word r?) till further proof is obtained, then oni my hypothesis is valid. (Alternative hypothesis, maths chapter 8 page 338)

Muz comment on louis’ line on wed tho..it amuses me(in a bad way) to see some people trying to CREATE coincidence. Yes, CREATE! And i thought all along tht coincidences r meant to be random events which happen out of chance, a case of everything falling into place. Not you holding d pieces n glueing them together. After all, coincidences jus happen- they’re part of fate.If they happen, they happen.If they don’t, too bad. There’s nth too much 2b read in2 it anyway, it oni serves as a feel-good factor at times. At times it doesnt.  But some people try to create coincidences and then brainwash themselves into thinking that their actions are fate as well because the attempt was successful…

Ain’t that naive.

So yes, that’s my photoelectric effect week, a week where i’ve (hopefully) grown up juz a little bit more, and gained some laughter (tho it hurts to laugh this way) at ppl’s naivety in creating coincidences.

Ain’t this a silly week.

Right..so itz d end of another week. Another (un)eventful weekend, more thgs 2think about. Nex up is esl tutorial of course (tht’s 2moro). Bin preparing quite well i think, but sumhow i stil stutter abit esp near d conclusion..hell i hope it doesnt happen 2mr!

Okies..so i managed to put a new skill to practice, wont say wad it is here but i do think d results r rather mixed..juz tht i do realize thgs cant b seen from one perspective onli, i’ve gota b understanding…

So it was a weekend during which england went out of d world cup. Ironic reali, d way they went out. Lots of hard work, sweat and blood put in, 10 fighting against 11 all the way onli 2lose out in the penalties. And dey lost cos 2of their players whom u’d expect the most to score, missed. Sort of rings a bell…neways, ronaldo’s efforts 2get rooney sent off was disgusting. Hell u dun resort to such machiavellian actions juz 2win, tht guy’s ur clubmate man! Y cant u let d competition b fair n square? If u can beat a team wif rooney in it 11 against 11, man for man, THEN u’ve won d bragging rights!

In any case, tho i support neither brazil nor france, it was heartening to see france through, if onli because of zidane..I do believe such a legend who’s done so much for the game deserves a fitting finale and nw he’s got one last shot.Haha..i’m getting too romanticised here, believin in nostalgia and last hurrahs.

So i’m now hopin tht either italy or france win it. SAY NO TO GERMANY! No offense to Germany fans but i juz dun like them. Italy has Gattuso, the warrior guy who runs and gives his all in every chase, every tackle (d kind i like, ppl who gv everything they’ve got for a cause they believe in) while france i’ve mentioned juz now. Germany? dun reali like lehmann (obviously, which mu fan does?) while portugal, despite hving cristiano there, i’d hate 2c figo d actor lift d world cup! So..go italy n france! go effort n last hurrahs!

Sighs..my nose is itching veri badly now. i hope itz not a bad omen for 2mr =(

In anycase, may our prayers come true this tuesday…

p/s: i’m addicted to daniel powter’s free loop! D song’s damn nice…=)