Thoughts from a soggy mind - best served Cold

I can’t reali believe tht exactly 24 hours after my post yesterday, i may b hvin doubts about whether tis wil b a happy weekend. It HAS gota b! why not? Oh well..i guess seein people i care bout bein so stressed out (hang on there, louis) makes me wonder if v(students, and especially us JPA ppl) can’t ever return to da "good old days"…strange how v miss those days huh? anywae…got a song tht i reali like n reflects my feelings for the day (2b exact, more like 5pm onwards n culminating at 12, cuz da morn and noon was FUN). duno whether i interpreted da lyrics rightly, but i do miss da old carefree days (haha, ti frens, tis is ur kaixun stressing out bcos  ppl i care about r stressed!).

Innocent Eyes

by Delta Goodrem

Do you remember when you were 7?
And the only thing that you wanted to do
Was show your mum that you could play piano
Ten years have passed
And the one thing that lasts
Is that same old song that we played along and made my mumma cry

I miss those days and I miss those ways
When I got lost in fantasies
In a cartoon land of mysteries
In a place you wont grow old, In a place you wont feel cold
And I’ll sing

Da da da da da da Da da da da da da
Seems i’m lost in my reflection
Da da da da da da Da da da da da da
Find a star for my direction
Da da da da da da Da da da da da da
For the little girl inside who wont just hide
Don’t let me see mistakes and lies
Let me keep my faith in innocent eyes

Do you remember when you were 15?
And the kids at school called you a fool coz you took the chance to dream
In the time that’s passed and the one thing that lasts
Is that same old song that we played along that made my daddy cry

I miss those days and I miss those ways
When I got lost in fantasies
In a cartoon land of mysteries
In a place you wont grow old, in a place you wont feel cold

Da da da da da da Da da da da da da
Seems i’m lost in my reflection
Da da da da da da Da da da da da da
Find a star for my direction
Da da da da da da Da da da da da da
For the little girl inside who wont just hide
Don’t let me see mistakes and lies
Let me keep my faith in innocent eyes

Under my feelings, under my skin
Under the thoughts from within
Learning the subtext of the mind
See creation, how we’re defined

My innocent eyes

I miss those days and I miss those ways
When I got lost in fantasies
In a cartoon land of mysteries
In a place you wont grow old, in a place you wont feel cold

Da da da da da da Da da da da da da
Seems i’m lost in my reflection
Da da da da da da Da da da da da da
Find a star for my direction
Da da da da da da Da da da da da da
For the little girl inside who wont just hide
Don’t let me see mistakes and lies
Let me keep my faith in innocent eyes

Da da da da da da Da da da da da da
Faith in innocent eyes

Faith in innocent eyes
For the little girl inside who wont just hide
Don’t let me see mistakes and lies
Let me keep my faith in innocent eyes

Oh well…da innocence n happiness of yesteryears can nv b truly b regained i guess..tht’s da price of growing up =( anyway, i shall NOT be unhappy! tis weekend is too grand for tht to happen regardless of wateva obstacles ahead (or ghosts from the past).

And to friends who are feeling the heat, i wish u all loads of luck, may success b wif u! Especially those facing common tests soon (myself included)! Goodnites…

p/s: this website is quite farnie for those who’d like 2 compare between jay chou, wang leehom n guang liang : http://www.tabulas.com/~athlynn17/         in-depth analysis but informal rojak english, reali relaxes da brain particularly if ur a fan of either jay, leehom or guang liang =)

hurm…i think this is the first time i’m actuali blogging when i’m in a good mood..my previous posts were all whn i was down (and sumtimes out). anywae- the cause of my happiness? nay, euphoria! oh well…did a project 2day n everything went to plan (almost didnt due to my misguided faith) but thn…somehow things fell into place! and, considering how i did it, i guess the euphoria is fully justified!

so, wats wif da title? well, i remember i blogged once about how important motivation is to actuali survive and succeed in studies (actuali i think it applies to everything but i guess JPA wont b happy wif me puttin studies at anywhere below num1 in terms of importance). i found out today tht motivation IS the ultimate weapon! it doesnt matter if u hv brains of lead or a rickety body like mine, motivation can pull u thru against all odds!

when you’re down and u feel like ur legs cant walk even a step further (literally or metaphorically, or both), search deep inside your heart for the reason you were here in the first place, and u’l find tht suddenly u can walk a step further, then another, and another…and finally it’s mission accomplished!

haha…no it’s NOT any significant thg tht i achieved today actuali, but i cant help but feel proud over da manner in which i did it. in conclusion : motivation works!

and i still cant believe i’m blogging in good spirits! i’l surely remember 24/3/2006!

Am i gona type nonsense again? I guess I am. But then again, who cares? I guess I DO have a right to crap about anything i want rite? It certainly isnt a great feeling when your brain stops functioning (and your body too, to be more specific). When the whole system shuts down and all u wish for is to sleep and sleep and sleep…And…sleep…

So..why am i still awake? Well, being stupid is my guess. I KNOW i need rest, I KNOW i hv tons of work to do 2moro, I KNOW term’s gona restart on monday, and yet i refuse to sleep/ get some rest!

Is tht plain stupidity? Or just one of the complex unexplainables of the human mind again? Struggling to stay awake just to wait for something tht may or may not happen is certainly unwise. illogical, even. But then again, there’r many thgs in this world tht’s illogical (to the majority). I guess if i stop analysing them then da question of whether or not they’re logical or worthwhile will cease to exist, no?

So basically all I should care about is whether anot i wana do something and not wori so much about da rationale of da whole thg, rite? But tht’s selfishness to a certain extent so it’s not gd too.

So..what’s gd and what’s not? Oh well, i guess Brain Vs Heart wil alwiz b an unending battle since it encompasses all our decisions in our daily lives. For the moment, Febricol (tht’s flu medication, for the uninformed) has greatly decapitated both and as a result, i’m not reali making much sense here….

A befuddled person reali doesnt hv da best judgement as I’ve experienced first-hand tonight.

Therefore / hence/ in conclusion, da best thg to do now is to stop typing. My bed is calling and sleep is winning….

I did say i would never blog again (in the short term). And while 3.5 weeks does seem a bit short, let me tell you tht wen life is hell, even 10s of it can make u feel like life isn’t, well, worth living. Anyway…what’s past is past. Though they’re da most important issues in my heart, i wont write them here. I dun think i should.

Ques: so what drove me to blog again so soon?

Ans : A day which started with a headache, got better and better towards noon then rolled downhill (or was it down a cliff?) and ended with heartache….

Sigh…i wonder if stupidity can ever be cured? or in this case, carelessness? Surely, something is wrong with you when you actually make a mistake that’s uncharacteristic of u? Add the fact that it’s something valuable not only in terms of money but also other much more important stuff, and you start to wonder what all this means. Am I experiencing some sort of "post-recovery syndrome"? Where my mind goes haywire and all organisation goes out of the window? I hope this is just a blip and it’ll nvr happen again…it’s a real damper on your self confidence….

But the thing which wrecked my day the most was reading something which perhaps i shouldnt hv in the first place. Let’s just say curiosity isn’t the best policy  when it comes 2this kinda thgs. Da title got me attracted and before i knew what happened, i was reading the very kind of ironies tht was (and still are, but i prefer to think it’s to a lesser extent) afflicting my life. I dun blame da writer though…good points raised. It’s just that i thought i pretty much fulfilled 60% of what was said and described…the onli difference was my situation is different from da one described.

All in all i blame my big mistake 2day. If that didnt happen, i wouldnt hv gone online 2nite and logged on 2friendster, thn i wouldn’t hv such itchy fingers 2read such stuff, then i wouldnt b so down 2nite. But then again i wouldnt write this blog too…

Oh well. I guess a goodnite’s sleep can cure or at least reduce some of da adverse effects. Gotta pick up soon for more quizzes coming on thurs..hvent even reali studied n here i am typing away!

But reali! If i hv da luxury 2blame someone for all tht’s happened 2day? I’ll blame tmnet and taylor’s cow-brain ICT staff!! stupid internet connection caused me 2spend over an hour searching 4 one simple definition, in the end had to rush for chem and caused all this trouble…

What a day..not to mention a thunderstorm had to happen while everyone’s asleep n i had to handle open windows all over da apartment alone. But then again i’d rather face a few more thunderstorms n mini floods in the hall than those two mentioned above…especially da 2nd one…WHY must i b so curious?

Anyway..i realise i’m babbling and talking in circles. That’s NOT good writing! Imagine if i write this way in my ESL tests or any of da project reports - I’l b dead! I’m seriously hvin some mental problems here..hope they’ll b gone by the time i wakeup and tis is just one of those rare days. Goodnite.