New Year, New Resolution, Same Old Fool
I said to myself at the turn of the year to turn over a new leaf, shed all those stupidity and generally just put my head down and slog away. A new year, a new class with plenty of new unknowns, just the sort of thing that would excite the old competitive Chan Kaixun, isn’t it? The prob is, i’m not the old ruthless Chan Kaixun who thrived on competition. How i wish i am. At least i won’t make a fool out of myself.
There are generally a few types of guys. Da 1st are those sensitive creatures who know by intuition what to do or say. The 2nd, insensitive blokes who don’t have a clue and simply dun giv a damn. The 3rd, ppl who are in between. Bless them. Me? I hv the privelege of belonging to the 4th, those who are freakishly sensitive AND insensitive at all the wrong times. Lucky me.
Why, why all this idiocy? Where did that Chankaixun of yesteryear go to? The one who let his brain rule all the time, that is. Simple logic and rationale again went out the window this week. The bloody thing was, they lost out to Overenthusiasm. Overenthusiasm in trying to refurbish a bridge i’ve just rebuild. And now i’ve just sent it crumbling again. So much for taking a step forward and two steps back.
The worst, worst part of all was that overenthusiasm didnt ruin it. Oversensitivy and insensitivity did the job. When u’re as stupid as to misinterpret even the smallest and most insignificant things to be something of a gigantic importance, and go on to blow your top over it, you deserve to be shot. Not just once but over and over again. And that’s the sort of idiot i am.
Emotions running high when they shouldn’t be, the brain no longer working like it should be, and letting your heart do all the talking when u know how unreliable it is. That’s wat i allowed to happened to me. And they called me ’smart’. Smart indeed.
It may be a new year with new resolutions. So what? I’m still the same old fool.
